January is always a month when people make resolutions for the new year. This year I have decided not to make any resolutions for the year, I'm making a life resolution. I'm commited to changing the way I eat. I can't change the scale if I don't change what I eat. I resolve to run upstairs without being winded. I resolve to look in the mirror and love what I see. I resolve to exchange I will's with I am!! I resolve to ignore all negative comments and replace then with positivity. So here is my comment to you 2012, look out cuz here I come!!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
December........A month filled with emotions
Its been awhile since ive posted anything, the past few months have been extremely busy. Between work, kids, husband and basketball, there hasnt been time for much else. My oldest son Marche' GOT A JOB!!! YAY!! Its actually bittersweet, the past few days I have been moving my VHS tapes to DVD. My late husband and I were HUGE video tapers, and now that he has passed, im glad we were. The boys have gotten to see and hear their dad, something that the baby was never able to experience. After watching them, he really does look like his dad. :-) Its crazy how fast time flies.While watching these videos, we found out how small this world really is. My husband actually went to school with one of my late husbands cousins. THEN....as we were watching the video from my sister in laws wedding, there he was, my husbands brother that passed away.He was one of the members of the wedding party. WOW!!! He was totally stunned, so was I. I thought we would probably know some of the people that were attending the wedding since most of the people there have been in Omaha most if not all of their lives. But never in a million years did I think someone that close to him would be on the tape. It truly is a small world.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I'm a Christian....it says so on the back of my car
I attended Women of Faith last weekend. As we were walking to and from our car, I noticed many bumper stickers and "fish" on the back of the attendees cars. It got me thinking......to be a Christian, do you really need to drive around professing it on your car? To me, being a Christian means living the way God wants us to live, conducting ourselves as Christians, living the Word, having others see us living our faith. Does a bumper sticker saying "Got Jesus?", "Are you following Jesus this close?", "What Would Jesus Do?", make you any more a Christian than a person who doesn't have bumper stickers? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that bumpers stickers are right or wrong, to each his own. The way I look at it is, a lot of people have been turned away from church and religion because so many people profess to be Christians, but as they are driving down the street in the mini van with this huge bumper sticker on the back of their car that says "Honk if you love God!" while yelling obscenities and flipping off a person that just cut them off in traffic. Do you see where I'm coming from? If you are going to drive around with fish on the back of your car, you better represent yourself as a Christian. A lot of people are looking at you and expecting you to be the person you say you are on the back of your car.
Me, I don't need bumper stickers, hats, or t-shirts, I pray that when people talk to me, they will be able to see that I'm a Christian by the way I live my life. We all stumble and sometimes fall in our walk with God but the most important thing is to ask for forgiveness and move on. God knows we are not perfect, nor does he expect us to be, but he does want us to live our lives FOR Him. Not when its convenient for us. And if you are wondering, how can I be more Christian and live a more Christian life, I have one thing to say to you. There is this amazing book that was written many many years ago, it has every answer you are looking for. You don't need to buy a t-shirt or a bumper sticker, just read the book, study the 10 most important things in the book"The Commandments" and you're off to a great start!!
Me, I don't need bumper stickers, hats, or t-shirts, I pray that when people talk to me, they will be able to see that I'm a Christian by the way I live my life. We all stumble and sometimes fall in our walk with God but the most important thing is to ask for forgiveness and move on. God knows we are not perfect, nor does he expect us to be, but he does want us to live our lives FOR Him. Not when its convenient for us. And if you are wondering, how can I be more Christian and live a more Christian life, I have one thing to say to you. There is this amazing book that was written many many years ago, it has every answer you are looking for. You don't need to buy a t-shirt or a bumper sticker, just read the book, study the 10 most important things in the book"The Commandments" and you're off to a great start!!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Senior Year
With August quickly approaching, I have become overwhelmed with emotions, you see, my oldest son will be a senior this year. It seems like yesterday that he was just learning to walk, and now he is ready to take the walk into adulthood. *tear* As I look back on the past 17 almost 18 years, so many memories come to mind. I remember the funny things he used to say when he was young. His biggest fear when he was a toddler, gombies (zombies). He was afraid to go into the kitchen at night because he was sure the gombies were in there and were going to eat him. Mom to the rescue, with a quick flick of the hand, on the kitchen light would come and the gombies were all gone. Yay for mom!!
Then there was Barney......I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and kiss from me to you..wont you say you love me too... Oh Barney...you big crazy purple dinosaur. You taught us so many songs, songs to brush our teeth to, songs to pick up our toys to,songs about eating apples and bananas (I love to eat apples and bananas is one of my personal favorites) and songs about how to be a good friend. I know that Barney got on alot of peoples nerves but he did teach us alot of songs that I can still sing to this day!
Next comes Tommy, the red Power Ranger. He loved some Tommy, he was the greatest hero of his time. All day long........GO GO POWER RANGERS..... followed by the morphing moves that he would make. I must admit, the Power Rangers got on my nerves. But everyday we would sit through a half hour of Tommy and gang morphin and kickin alien butt.
Then came the dreaded video games. If his dad were alive today, I would kick him in the butt for starting the video game craze. His favorite game of the time.....Rival Schools. I have to admit, it was a fun game, but in moderation. He definitely jumped on the band wagon with the video games, he was
5-6 years old kickin grown men's butts on Rival Schools....GET OVER HERE still rings in my head.
At the age of 6, alot of things happened to my young son, first....A BABY BROTHER! He was so excited to be a big brother and you could tell. He was and still is a fantastic big brother. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I have to remind him that his little brother is 6 years younger than he is, so he can hurt him, and that everything is does and says is being watched. But for the most part he is a wonderful big brother. Second...his dad died. Now at 6 it's hard to tell if he really comprehended what was going on. But one thing he did know, is that dad was gone and he wasn't ever coming home again. I can remember many a nights laying in his bed with him, crying because he missed his dad. I would remind him that his dad was always watching over him and to make sure that he grew up to be a man that his dad would be proud of. One that his dad would look down and say..."Look at my boy!" "That's my boy!"
Then came Jr High and GIRLS!! I do have to say that I have been very lucky that he hasn't been "girl crazy" he noticed them and talked about them, but I would always remind him that girls will always be there, school is what is most important right now. When he gets through Jr high, high school and college, girls will still be there. Having a girlfriend doesn't define who you are and doesn't make you any more or less of a person. Education is THE MOST important thing. You can have your car, your house, your job taken away from you, but no one can ever take your education away from you.
Then when he was 15, I met my husband. A man that has stepped up and has become DAD. It was a struggle at first. For most of his life, Marche' was the "man of the house" and to have a man come into his life and tell him what do, didn't go over to well. He hadn't had male authority in his life for years, actually most of his life, so you can imagine how hard it was him to suddenly have a man around. But for the most part he has made the transition fairly well.
Which brings us to high school and SENIOR YEAR! Being a single mom of 2 boys wasn't easy for the 9 plus years that I did it, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Honestly, it made me grow up. We have shared so many good times, World's of Fun, Disney world, many road trips all over Nebraska, Rock Band in the basement, and being baptized together (just to name a few). It's been a crazy ride these past years but so many memories have been made. You worry if you have taught them the things they need to know to become a productive member of society. To be the man that you have prayed for them to be. The one thing I do know that I have taught him, is to keep God in your heart. If you put your trust in Him and let Him guide your way, you can never go wrong. Whatever he grows up to be, the one thing that I pray he is, is a man of God.
The one thing I want you to get out of this is, cherish every moment, the years go by too quickly and before you know it they are grown up and have their own lives. I know alot of people count down the years till their kids get out of the house, I was never one of them. 18 years may seem like a long time, but in actuality, it seems like a blink of an eye. You can never get those years back. I never wanted to be a parent who, 20 years later said I wish I would have spent more time with my kids. You can buy your kids the world, but the best thing you can spend on them is TIME. Its something that no one can ever take away.
Then there was Barney......I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and kiss from me to you..wont you say you love me too... Oh Barney...you big crazy purple dinosaur. You taught us so many songs, songs to brush our teeth to, songs to pick up our toys to,songs about eating apples and bananas (I love to eat apples and bananas is one of my personal favorites) and songs about how to be a good friend. I know that Barney got on alot of peoples nerves but he did teach us alot of songs that I can still sing to this day!
Next comes Tommy, the red Power Ranger. He loved some Tommy, he was the greatest hero of his time. All day long........GO GO POWER RANGERS..... followed by the morphing moves that he would make. I must admit, the Power Rangers got on my nerves. But everyday we would sit through a half hour of Tommy and gang morphin and kickin alien butt.
Then came the dreaded video games. If his dad were alive today, I would kick him in the butt for starting the video game craze. His favorite game of the time.....Rival Schools. I have to admit, it was a fun game, but in moderation. He definitely jumped on the band wagon with the video games, he was
5-6 years old kickin grown men's butts on Rival Schools....GET OVER HERE still rings in my head.
At the age of 6, alot of things happened to my young son, first....A BABY BROTHER! He was so excited to be a big brother and you could tell. He was and still is a fantastic big brother. Now don't get me wrong, there are times I have to remind him that his little brother is 6 years younger than he is, so he can hurt him, and that everything is does and says is being watched. But for the most part he is a wonderful big brother. Second...his dad died. Now at 6 it's hard to tell if he really comprehended what was going on. But one thing he did know, is that dad was gone and he wasn't ever coming home again. I can remember many a nights laying in his bed with him, crying because he missed his dad. I would remind him that his dad was always watching over him and to make sure that he grew up to be a man that his dad would be proud of. One that his dad would look down and say..."Look at my boy!" "That's my boy!"
Then came Jr High and GIRLS!! I do have to say that I have been very lucky that he hasn't been "girl crazy" he noticed them and talked about them, but I would always remind him that girls will always be there, school is what is most important right now. When he gets through Jr high, high school and college, girls will still be there. Having a girlfriend doesn't define who you are and doesn't make you any more or less of a person. Education is THE MOST important thing. You can have your car, your house, your job taken away from you, but no one can ever take your education away from you.
Then when he was 15, I met my husband. A man that has stepped up and has become DAD. It was a struggle at first. For most of his life, Marche' was the "man of the house" and to have a man come into his life and tell him what do, didn't go over to well. He hadn't had male authority in his life for years, actually most of his life, so you can imagine how hard it was him to suddenly have a man around. But for the most part he has made the transition fairly well.
Which brings us to high school and SENIOR YEAR! Being a single mom of 2 boys wasn't easy for the 9 plus years that I did it, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Honestly, it made me grow up. We have shared so many good times, World's of Fun, Disney world, many road trips all over Nebraska, Rock Band in the basement, and being baptized together (just to name a few). It's been a crazy ride these past years but so many memories have been made. You worry if you have taught them the things they need to know to become a productive member of society. To be the man that you have prayed for them to be. The one thing I do know that I have taught him, is to keep God in your heart. If you put your trust in Him and let Him guide your way, you can never go wrong. Whatever he grows up to be, the one thing that I pray he is, is a man of God.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Role Reversal
Its funny as you go through the years of your life being a daughter,sister, cousin, auntie, wife, and mother, suddenly out of nowhere you gain another role, parent to your parents. I'm not sure when this role came into effect, but its definitely one of the hardest roles I've ever taken on and one I wasn't prepared for. There are so many responsibilities of this role. One day your the daughter and your parents are...... your parents. Then suddenly you're the parent trying to parent your parents. Very strange.
Watching your parents age is a hard thing, one day they are teaching you drive, forming you into an adult, the next day your trying to explain to them that its not safe for them drive anymore. I traded interviewing daycare centers for assisted living centers. Its also a scary role, everyone knows that most people don't go to nursing homes to get better and go home. That's the harsh reality. Growing up your parents are indestructible, people that will be there for you forever, its not until this role reversal happens that you realize, their human and wont live forever. I know exactly where they are going when their earthly bodies say..."I've had enough!" and that's a huge comfort to me, but me being human wants them around for so many more times of my life. They have been there when I graduated from high school, got married, had 2 beautiful babies, the death of a spouse, the ups and downs of dating at 40,remarrying, basketball games, show choir concerts, and everything in between. Its hard for me to imagine them not sharing in my sons getting married, having kids, being great grandparents. No one but God knows how many more of these times they will be celebrating with me. But I do know one thing.
Watching your parents age is a hard thing, one day they are teaching you drive, forming you into an adult, the next day your trying to explain to them that its not safe for them drive anymore. I traded interviewing daycare centers for assisted living centers. Its also a scary role, everyone knows that most people don't go to nursing homes to get better and go home. That's the harsh reality. Growing up your parents are indestructible, people that will be there for you forever, its not until this role reversal happens that you realize, their human and wont live forever. I know exactly where they are going when their earthly bodies say..."I've had enough!" and that's a huge comfort to me, but me being human wants them around for so many more times of my life. They have been there when I graduated from high school, got married, had 2 beautiful babies, the death of a spouse, the ups and downs of dating at 40,remarrying, basketball games, show choir concerts, and everything in between. Its hard for me to imagine them not sharing in my sons getting married, having kids, being great grandparents. No one but God knows how many more of these times they will be celebrating with me. But I do know one thing.
I will cherish each and every moment I have with them, while I still have them. I will live each day to the fullest and let them know each and every day that I LOVE THEM and I appreciate every single thing that they have ever done for me.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Dandelions
DANDELIONS!! No matter how carefully I try to pull one up, I never get the whole thing. The root stays deep in the ground, threatening to grow up and blossom again.
But despite their bad reputation, dandelions are pretty little flowers with their yellow strands all tucked neatly into the center. And truly they are the most beautiful of all flowers when presented clutched in a child's dirty little hand. No one gets yelled at for picking them. Perhaps they grow only to be used and enjoyed by children.
Dandelions are ignored or attacked, never nurtured or cared for, and yet they always bloom profusely. They demand no pampering or special attention to yield their bright blossoms; they pop up in fields, in lawns, and between cracks in the sidewalk, even in the best neighborhoods. Can you imagine trying to grow them in a garden? They'd sneak through the boundaries and pop their sunny yellow faces up in the surrounding lawn. They would never stay put!
Christians should be more like dandelions. Our sunny yellow faces should be a reminder that simple faith has deep roots that are impossible to dislodge. Our vast number would show the world that even though we are not fancy to pampered we are evident everywhere, even in the best neighborhoods.
We should be as easily accessible as a dandelion. Jesus was... We need to get out of our gardens and jump across the boundaries that keep us where people expect to find us. We need to show our sunny yellow faces in all the spots that need a little brightening up---the crack in the sidewalk or the lawn of a country club.
But despite their bad reputation, dandelions are pretty little flowers with their yellow strands all tucked neatly into the center. And truly they are the most beautiful of all flowers when presented clutched in a child's dirty little hand. No one gets yelled at for picking them. Perhaps they grow only to be used and enjoyed by children.
Dandelions are ignored or attacked, never nurtured or cared for, and yet they always bloom profusely. They demand no pampering or special attention to yield their bright blossoms; they pop up in fields, in lawns, and between cracks in the sidewalk, even in the best neighborhoods. Can you imagine trying to grow them in a garden? They'd sneak through the boundaries and pop their sunny yellow faces up in the surrounding lawn. They would never stay put!
Christians should be more like dandelions. Our sunny yellow faces should be a reminder that simple faith has deep roots that are impossible to dislodge. Our vast number would show the world that even though we are not fancy to pampered we are evident everywhere, even in the best neighborhoods.
We should be as easily accessible as a dandelion. Jesus was... We need to get out of our gardens and jump across the boundaries that keep us where people expect to find us. We need to show our sunny yellow faces in all the spots that need a little brightening up---the crack in the sidewalk or the lawn of a country club.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Adoption
With another holiday just around the corner, my thoughts wander to....family. When I was 7 days old, God blessed me with 2 absolutely wonderful parents. Not my birth parents, but my adoptive parents. I call them my REAL parents. They are the parents that were there when I needed braces on my legs because I was so pigeon toed that I would trip myself, (yes...Forest Gump braces), they were there when I rode my bicycle around and around falling on a regular basis, only to have them cheer me on after each crash, they were there when the only boy "I will ever love" broke up with me and I was sure it was the end of the world. See thats what parents are, they don't have to be "BLOOD" to be real.
I always knew that I was adopted, even before I knew what it meant. Growing up I was never curious about my "birth parents". Not until I became older and had children of my own did I begin to wonder. Who are they.....do I have any siblings......why did they choose adoption.....do they ever think of me.....what do they look like......do I look like either one of them.....how about my medical history???Questions.......with no answers. I was adopted through a private adoption so finding my birth parents was a little more complicated. I did, after alot of searching and questions, I found my birth mother. Actually my birth mothers brother found me. Its a long story as to how he ended up contacting me, but he did and gave me a little insight on some of my questions. My birth mother is still alive, I have an older brother and sister and a younger brother and sister. She was an unwed mother when I was conceived. He gave me her address and phone number and I took it from there. Afraid to call I decided to write a letter. That was almost a year ago. I have yet to hear back from her. I pray that before the good Lord takes her home she will reach out to me. Do my siblings know anything about me? Does my birth father even know he has a daughter? Does she ever think about me? So many unanswered questions.
I do have one thing I want to tell my birth mother.......THANK YOU!!!! You made the BEST decision you could have ever made. I have had a FANTASTIC life and have the most WONDERFUL parents that a girl could ever ask for. I couldnt have not picked out better parents.
So birth mother....wherever you are......im fine, as a matter of fact IM FABULOUS!!! I have a beautiful life. I have had some tough times in my life, I lost a husband when our second son was only 7 weeks old, but I came out on top through God's undying love for me. God has blessed me with an absolutely wonderful husband, one I never dreamed possible. I now have 4 sons instead of 2. I have found out that you dont have to give birth to children to love them any less than the ones you give birth to. I also have daughters!!! My husband has an older daughter who is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. He also has a younger daughter who has so much energy she makes me tired watching her. :-) Life is good. I do pray that one day I will get to thank you in person for giving me the gift of life. You could have choosen a different road but you didnt. And for that..I am truly grateful.
I always knew that I was adopted, even before I knew what it meant. Growing up I was never curious about my "birth parents". Not until I became older and had children of my own did I begin to wonder. Who are they.....do I have any siblings......why did they choose adoption.....do they ever think of me.....what do they look like......do I look like either one of them.....how about my medical history???Questions.......with no answers. I was adopted through a private adoption so finding my birth parents was a little more complicated. I did, after alot of searching and questions, I found my birth mother. Actually my birth mothers brother found me. Its a long story as to how he ended up contacting me, but he did and gave me a little insight on some of my questions. My birth mother is still alive, I have an older brother and sister and a younger brother and sister. She was an unwed mother when I was conceived. He gave me her address and phone number and I took it from there. Afraid to call I decided to write a letter. That was almost a year ago. I have yet to hear back from her. I pray that before the good Lord takes her home she will reach out to me. Do my siblings know anything about me? Does my birth father even know he has a daughter? Does she ever think about me? So many unanswered questions.
I do have one thing I want to tell my birth mother.......THANK YOU!!!! You made the BEST decision you could have ever made. I have had a FANTASTIC life and have the most WONDERFUL parents that a girl could ever ask for. I couldnt have not picked out better parents.
So birth mother....wherever you are......im fine, as a matter of fact IM FABULOUS!!! I have a beautiful life. I have had some tough times in my life, I lost a husband when our second son was only 7 weeks old, but I came out on top through God's undying love for me. God has blessed me with an absolutely wonderful husband, one I never dreamed possible. I now have 4 sons instead of 2. I have found out that you dont have to give birth to children to love them any less than the ones you give birth to. I also have daughters!!! My husband has an older daughter who is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside. He also has a younger daughter who has so much energy she makes me tired watching her. :-) Life is good. I do pray that one day I will get to thank you in person for giving me the gift of life. You could have choosen a different road but you didnt. And for that..I am truly grateful.
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